


winter's kisses

by dearlyuta



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Christmas, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Romance, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 22:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17171012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearlyuta/pseuds/dearlyuta
Summary: Everyone knows that the first rule in fake relationships is that you shouldneverfall in love with the person you're dating.But Renjun has always found the thrill in breaking every rule there is, even if it means he'll get his heart in a wreck.





	winter's kisses

**Author's Note:**

> i've always thought this fic will just be 5k or something but i went beyond that, oops??? anyway, please excuse any mistakes you might come across since this isn't proofread. have fun reading!

Renjun thinks that he's doing a fine job as Jaemin's boyfriend.

Honestly speaking, Renjun doesn't really have a whole lot of experience in the dating department. Hell, during every breathing moment for the past 18 years, he hasn't even been on a single date.

That's right — Huang Renjun has never dated anyone and will most likely not date a single, living soul for the rest of his years.

But for some entirely ludicrous reasons, his friends keep on approaching and asking him to be their fake boyfriends.

-

_EXHIBIT 1.0: LEE DONGHYUCK._

"What?" Renjun promptly dropped his book right on the mattress, letting it land with a dull thud. Donghyuck had been clinging on him too much these days and honestly, Renjun didn't have the heart to push him away and let him breathe for even a single second. Donghyuck was going through a rough break up and the last thing he needed was someone pushing him away.

That is, until Donghyuck proposed the most ridiculous idea he has ever heard in his entire life.

"What?" He squeaked out, staring at his best friend with disbelief.  Donghyuck only tilted his head to the side, blinking rapidly at him before he shrugged his shoulders carelessly, as if he didn't saw how wrong his idea is.

"What do you mean?"

"What do I mean?" Renjun gestured to himself with an incredulous look written all over his features before he heaved a deep sigh, "Hyuck, I can't be your fake boyfriend. I can't even pass for a first date with you."

Renjun huffed, his mind set on dropping the discussion to show how against he was with the whole idea but instead, Donghyuck plopped down on the edge of the bed with a saddened expression crossing his face. He managed to appear so upset in Renjun's eyes that the older boy actually started to straighten up from his bed, glancing at his best friend with a glint of worry in his dark orbs.

"Come on, please? I just can't deal with the fact that Mark is going on dates already when we've only broken up for two weeks." Donghyuck dropped his voice into a whisper, meeting Renjun's gaze with a pleading look as he reached out, clasping their hands together in a tight grip. Renjun dropped his eyes to their entwined hands, his shoulders slumping down as he reeled over the thoughts of dating Donghyuck.

It can't be that hard, right? Donghyuck has been his best friend for years — he knows him like the familiar lines on his palms. All he needed was to act sweet and considering how he sometimes can get clingy with the other boy, it won't be a problem to actually do it.

"Fine, I'll do it—"

"Thank you, thank you!" Donghyuck practically leaped from his spot on the bed over to Renjun's arms, the both of them yelping and drastically falling down on the floor with a loud thud. A pained groan escaped Renjun's lips as Donghyuck landed on top of him, crushing him briefly before he rolled over to settle beside Renjun with a huff.

"I think we'll need to work on our relationship." Renjun delivered a swift kick at Donghyuck's leg but even then, the other boy only elicited a loud laugh before rolling further away to avoid any more attacks from the brown-haired boy.

"Shut up."

(Spoiler: Mark got jealous the moment he witnessed Donghyuck and Renjun being sweet in a homely café that's situated near their houses. It seemed like he was holding himself back for a week after seeing Donghyuck and Renjun holding hands and being all mushy in the university's hallways.

It's kind of hilarious how Mark stared at them in disbelief before he promptly tried to crash their "date" by settling down on another seat in the same table. Renjun pretended to slip away to head to the bathroom so the two can have a moment to talk but he got more than that — he really had to see the both of them being a giggly and blushing mess. He kind of figured out that they got back together when he got to his dorm, a box of chocolates gently placed right at the center of his bed. A simple thank you note is deliberately tucked underneath the box, obviously in Mark's scrawled out handwriting.

"Isn't it weird that Mark just left a box of chocolates for his boyfriend's ex? Is it a tradition to leave thank you notes for your significant other's exes?" Renjun hummed in thought, tapping his chin with his finger with his lips pursued in a thin line, "Like, thank you for getting the hell out of my boyfriend's life so I could date the best boy in the world?"

"Oh my god, Injun. For the last time, we only fake dated for a week and you made me pay for all our dates!" Donghyuck butted but Renjun shakes his head with a cheeky grin plastered across his lips, eyes shining with mischief.

"Hey, at least I was a great fake boyfriend."

"Oh, shut up.")

After all of that happened, Renjun fully expected for his life to quietly slip back into the boundaries of normalcy. He wasn't expecting for anyone to try and sweep him off his feet since it felt more like a waste of time for him.

Though admittedly, when Renjun lets his eyes drift over to Mark and Donghyuck, his heart aches just the slightest. There's always been that strange longing buried deep within his chest — he wonders what it would be like to be madly and deeply in love. He knows he shouldn't take love so seriously, seeing how he's only eighteen and he still has so many good years ahead of him but maybe, it wouldn't be so bad. To fall in love and see the hidden universes in their bright, starry eyes.

And Na Jaemin seems to make falling in love feel so easy and carefree.

-

_EXHIBIT 2.1: NA JAEMIN._

"Good morning, baby." Jaemin's honey-like voice drifts into the cold air, effectively melting Renjun's insides in a snap. He can feel himself stiffen just the slightest — his shoulders tense up and his lips pursue into a thin line — but he doesn't find it all that difficult to relax the moment he registers Jaemin's familiar touch on his skin.

Jaemin's hands always seem to be cold that it sends a shiver down Renjun's spine whenever the younger boy wraps him up in a tight embrace, paired with a forehead kiss.

"Hey, good morning." Renjun's voice is swirling with cheeriness and elation, his bright eyes staring back at his boyfriend. Jaemin gazes at him, a flicker of unfamiliar emotions passing right through his dark orbs before the corners of his mouth curve upwards into a heart-fluttering smile.

"I have something important to talk to you about. When does your last class end?" Renjun notices the faraway glint that flashes in Jaemin's eyes but he doesn't comment on it, only choosing to tug lightly on his sleeve of his shirt with a small, sincere smile gracing his lips.

"Four in the afternoon." Jaemin takes more than a moment to realize that Renjun finally answered his question. His cheeks turn flushed in embarrassment, quietly apologizing for getting lost in his thoughts before his gaze flickers from the students peering at them curiously.

Jaemin leans down, cupping Renjun's rosy cheeks in his freezing hands before he brushes his lips very lightly against the smaller boy's forehead. Renjun can feel his breath hitch, his heart unknowingly skipping a few beats before it goes back to a regular, steady patterns that he's familiar with.

"Okay, I'll see you later at the bench." Jaemin pats his shoulder instead, a surprisingly friendly gesture compared to his usual romantic self. Renjun lets his eyes drift over to the other students and he notices that they've focused their attention elsewhere.

Of course, Renjun bitterly wonders but he forces a smile to linger on his lips, wide enough that his eyes crinkle before he nods his head.

"Okay."

-

Jaemin only became a part in his routine during the latter part of his life. Donghyuck has mostly occupied his earlier years (the embarrassing childhood years, as Donghyuck likes to put it). But ever since Mark has managed to win over Donghyuck's heart, it became the three of them — though, if he's being completely honest, it feels like he's more of a third wheel among them.

He doesn't have any problem with it since he adores Donghyuck and Mark's relationship. They're perfect for each other and he can't really imagine one of them without the other — that's how attached they are.

So, when the opportunity comes to date someone who seems to be painted and carved to perfection, he couldn't stop himself from jumping into it without second thoughts.

Jaemin, since the moment they've crossed paths, has been nothing but such a sweetheart to him. And seemingly to the rest of the students too since he's always been handed with a love letter or get asked out, as if they're still in high school. Admittedly, Renjun is uncomfortable with the idea of being interested with Jaemin since first, he never actually shown any sort of interest in anyone before and oh wow, that same person he kind of likes is quite popular as well.

Second, Jaemin is out of his league, as much as he hated to admit to that. Jaemin just seems so sweet, with his starry eyes always filled with genuine happiness to his melodious laugh that echoes in the halls, like it's the most mellifluous sound that's ever been created in the entirety of humanity. While he's here, almost appearing average next to the younger boy.

He had always thought that his little crush on Jaemin is just silly infatuation that will fade away in time but he realized how serious it is when Jaemin proposed to him a plan one Tuesday afternoon.

"Will you be my fake boyfriend?" Renjun nearly dropped his canvas when Jaemin approached him the moment he escaped the art room at five in the afternoon. His hands were exhausted from holding a paintbrush and his vision was turning positively turning hazy due to staring at an eternity's worth of lines and colors.

Due to the fatigue traveling weighing down on his bones, he didn't quite catch onto Jaemin's question properly. His mind rewired the moment the words left the other boy's lips and he found himself standing there, eyes wide and his heart skyrocketing straight out of his rib cage and up to the vast sky.

"What?" He raised his voice a little more than necessary, catching them both off-guard with the tone. He cleared his throat, mildly annoyed at how he allowed himself to lose his control on himself so easily just because of something like this.

Jaemin looked embarrassed though — his cheeks flushed with his teeth sinking down on his bottom lip to lightly chew on it. A blushing Jaemin is such an endearing sight that Renjun couldn't stop himself from beaming widely, lips curved upwards to resemble a smile. The moment Jaemin realized that Renjun was smiling at him, some tension was released from his shoulders as he mirrored the boy's expression smoothly.

"I know this came out of the blue but... I'm just really uncomfortable with people only befriending me so they can date me. And out of everyone I know, you're the one that I'm the most comfortable with," Jaemin's voice was teetering on the edge of nervousness, fumbling over his words as he unconsciously tugged on the edge of his black hoodie, eyes drifting anywhere else but on the boy in front of him. "It's a strange request, isn't it?"

"It is." Renjun tried to hold back the laugh from escaping past his lips but he ended up cupping his free hand over his mouth, making a horrible attempt to muffle the sound. Jaemin couldn't help but relax visibly, taking a step closer and catching Renjun off-guard when he met his starry eyes. He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat, cheeks flushed as he took a step back, calming down the erratic beating of his heart.

"What do I get in return?" Jaemin looked taken aback, as if he wasn't expecting him to take the offer extended to him. But it wasn't long before he beamed brightly, lips curled into the sweetest smile with eyes crinkled so nicely. Renjun pretended that his heart didn't skip a beat at the ethereal sight of it.

"Anything you want." Renjun blinked rapidly, lips pursued into a thin line. Well, even if it was such a strange request, he wouldn't turn it down — he wonders how it's like to be Jaemin's boyfriend for the past weeks. He doesn't care if the whole ordeal was fake and only made to fool everyone into thinking that Jaemin is unavailable so they can stop chasing after him.

"Okay but I have one condition." Jaemin's eyebrow arched just the slightest, showing off his curiosity and interest at the other's words.

"You need to ask me out properly now." There was a beat of silence that echoed between them before Jaemin approached him, closing the distance between them promptly with the most heart-fluttering smile he could ever paint across his lips. Renjun could feel his breath get stolen away as his heart crashed against his rib cage, the emotions pumping all too excitedly through his veins. Jaemin tenderly took Renjun's free hand, holding it tightly before he allowed their fingers to entwine in a loose grip. Renjun pretended that he wasn't affected by the constellations hiding beneath the dark orbs belonging to the boy with the sweetest smile in the world.

"Huang Renjun, will you be my boyfriend?" Renjun pointedly ignored the word _fake_ that was snuck in before the word _boyfriend._ For a moment, he lets go of the emotions circulating wildly throughout his body as he nodded his head slowly, emitting a soft laugh.

"I'd be honoured."

-

_EXHIBIT 2.2: PRESENT._

"I personally think that you're an idiot, Injun." Jeno, his roommate for the past two weeks, throws a baseball up in the air before expertly catching it with his lithe fingers, gripping the object in a rather strong hold after it landed on his palm. Renjun rolls his eyes, which catches Jeno's attention in an instant since the smaller boy is standing right in front of the mirror.

"No one asked for your opinion, dumbass."

"I know, I'm just looking out for you." Renjun doesn't respond, choosing to let his gaze drop on his blank canvas instead. Usually, he snaps at his friends when they attempt to be ridiculously blunt with him but Jeno's been surprisingly out-spoken since the day he kicked his boxes inside the dorm and declared that he disliked the way Renjun left his paint around everywhere.

Renjun was startled at how his roommate formulated his first words to him but he appreciated how Jeno can be unknowingly blunt with him. Though at times, he doesn't really know where he stands since he can be quite... caring and overprotective towards Renjun, even when they only recently met.

"I know you are." Renjun lets his voice sink down into a whisper as he meets Jeno's steady gaze on him through the mirror. The other boy puts down the baseball that's settled in his hand gently on his wooden desk before he approaches the smaller boy, laying his chin on his shoulder and looping his arms around his waist. Renjun can't stop himself from allowing one of the corners of his mouth curl upwards, almost resembling a half-smile.

"Are you going to talk to Nana now?"

"You're clingy, aren't you?" Renjun elicits a laugh, running a hand through his brown hair to distract himself from directly answering the question posed while Jeno doesn't even hide the way he rolls his eyes, lightly pinching his side before pulling away. Renjun emits a yelp, rubbing the assaulted spot with a huff, pinning the younger boy in his place with a stern glare.

"Hey, can you grab me a cup of coffee when you go out?"

"Is that why you're getting all clingy and touchy with me?" Jeno only responds with a cheeky grin, moving away to plop back down on his chair where he was occupying a moment ago.

"Maybe."

"Asshole." Renjun keeps his voice light as he turns on his heel, throwing one of his old paintbrushes at Jeno. The other boy yelps, swiftly avoiding it but still, a streak of blue paint runs across his shoulder in a crooked line. He scowls at him, all ready to jump out of his seat to tackle the other but Renjun manages to duck out of the room, laughing as he easily slips into his sneakers.

"I'll buy you a cup of coffee!"

"Make sure to keep it hot until you get home!" Renjun resists the urge to throw another insult at the boy, only emitting a fit of chuckles.

"Oh, by the way, Jisung and Chenle are coming over later. Do you think that they're bringing over some cookies?"

"Why are you craving for so much sugar lately?" Jeno holds out his hands before crossing his arms over his chest with a loud huff.

"Not my fault that Chenle's mom makes delicious Christmas cookies." Jeno halts his words, his eyes suddenly bright with a mischievous grin curving on the edges of his mouth. "Hey, isn't Chenle your cousin? Can you ask his mom if she can bake me some more—"

"Bye Jeno!" Renjun calls out, cutting off Jeno's words before he shuts the door tightly. Suddenly, all the nervousness rushes back to him, bursting deep within his veins. He lets a shaky breath fall from his lips as he listens intently to the way his shoes hit the floor with every step he takes, directing himself out of the dormitory.

It's such a short walk but even then, the knot in his stomach feels like it's been tangled in there for hours already. The pressure only gets harder as he settles on waiting by the entrance, gaze flickering over to the benches set out. Jaemin is already there with his head down, ssitting on the same bench that they both love to occupy since the start of their freshman year.

He finds himself skipping down the steps, a little bounce with every moment the soles of his shoes hit the concrete stairs. Despite the overwhelming amount of anxiety slipping through his veins, the excitement is still there, bursting into little fireworks with every movement he makes to get closer to Jaemin. As if on cue, Jaemin raises his head and his starry eyes turn bright — the universes exploding in his dark orbs, taking Renjun’s breath away with the celestial beauty his eyes hold.

"Injun!" Jaemin reaches out, his fingers circling around Renjun's wrist before dragging him down to sit on the bench next to him. Renjun’s cheeks turn flushed at the contact but Jaemin doesn't notice it or he doesn't really want to comment on it.

Or at least, that's what Renjun thought.

"I guess you're wondering why I asked to meet up with you."

"Let me guess," Renjun halts the words from falling from Jaemin's lips, his eyes shining with obvious mischief. "You missed me, didn't you?"

Jaemin only emits a lighthearted laugh, sending a jolt of happiness through Renjun's heart and making it beat even faster than the usual rhythm. He casually places his hand over Renjun's but the older boy jerks it away, shocked by the sudden contact. A flash of an unknown emotion passes through Jaemin's eyes and that seems to fuel Renjun’s worry that's building up in his chest.

"That's why I called you over here," Jaemin lets his gaze fall on their hands before he gently reaches over, their fingers naturally finding their way to entwining them in a light grip. Renjun ignores the rush of blood to his cheeks, coloring them in a deep shade of red to show off his embarrassment.

"You seem so tense and jumpy around me. I feel like we won't look like a natural couple when you're so nervous like this." Jaemin halts, eyebrows knitting just the slightest before his gaze settles on Renjun's still flushed face. "Wait, why are you nervous around me?"

Renjun seals his lips shut, afraid of that he might blurt out the truth — that he's interested in Jaemin more and more they pull through with this. He knows that if he ends up confessing, it'll break their arrangement and Renjun isn't ready for a break up with him.

"Nothing. I'm just not used having a boyfriend, you know?" Jaemin furrows his eyebrows again and Renjun hurriedly backtracks through his words, carefully picking them apart. "A fake boyfriend, I mean."

"I get it, don't worry." Jaemin finally allows a smile to curve on his lips, relaxing against the bench. He never tries to slip his fingers out of Renjun's grasp so the older boy willingly tightens his hold on them just for a moment to indulge himself.

When he quietly pulls his hand away, Jaemin drops his gaze on his now empty hand before glancing back at Renjun with an arched eyebrow. It's as if he's waiting for Renjun to hold his hand again. Renjun hurriedly slips his fingers through the empty spaces in Jaemin's hand and Jaemin eagerly squeezes their intertwined hands with a sweet smile on his lips.

"That's better." Renjun pointedly ignores the inconsistent pattern of his heartbeat, choosing to only squeeze Jaemin's hand before tentatively scooting over so he can be pressed up against the taller boy's side. Jaemin has an approving smile curled on the corners of his lips, eyes crinkling just the slightest.

"I think we should practice casually touching each other so you won't freeze up every time I try to kiss you or hug you." Renjun blinks, gaze abruptly dropping on his empty lap with the tips of his ears turning red with embarrassment. They've only discussed having tight hugs and soft forehead or cheek kisses. Renjun kind of hates how his imagination drifts off, wondering how it's like to feel Jaemin's pink lips pressed against his.

"Okay, that's a good idea." Jaemin beams brightly, clearly elated that Renjun is on board with the idea he presented. He raises their entwined hands, his lips just brushing lightly against the back of Renjun's hand before he pressed a kiss on the skin. It takes everything in him to ignore the insane fluttering his heart makes, almost as if it's breaking right out of his rib cage.

"Good. I think we should start going on dates too." Renjun parts his lips, ready to let the words flow out but he's stopped short when his phone rings in his pocket. Jaemin seems to have the same situation since he easily slipped his hand right out of Renjun's grip to retrieve his phone. Renjun ignores the burning ache in his chest as he opens up his phone, scrolling through his messages until he sees Jeno's name on top.

 **Jeno [16:37]:** _secret santa later at 6pm_  
**Jeno [16:38]:** _the 7 of us_  
**Jeno [16:38]:** _mark hyung, injun, me, nana, hyuck, lele, jisungie_

"Secret Santa?" Jaemin echoes, reading the words off his screen. Renjun only hums in reply, shutting off his phone after he got to shoot a message to Jeno with a simple _okay_ written on it. The knot is back in his stomach again and he's not entirely sure why his nerves are hitting the roof once more.

"Should we go now?" Renjun nonchalantly asks, letting the question hang in the air between them. Jaemin glances at him with furrowed eyebrows and Renjun swears that there's a flash of hurt embedded in his dark orbs before it completely dissipates into nothingness. He briefly wonders if he did see that emotion or if his mind is just making everything up.

"Sure but let me treat you to some coffee first." Jaemin starts to get up from the bench, tucking his hands inside his pockets instead. Renjun knits his brows, clearly confused when Jaemin faces him with such a bright, sweet smile that stirs his heart out of control.

"I thought you were cutting down your caffeine intake?" Jaemin stares at him long and hard before he shrugs his shoulders lightly with another smile playing just the edges of his mouth.

"I want to spend more time with you." He's rendered speechless by the other boy's words. He's almost left behind because Jaemin has already turned on his heel, walking in the direction of the nearby café near their dormitory.

Renjun rushes up to him, walking side by side in the same pace. Jaemin slips his hand out of his pocket, letting it hang uselessly at his side as he gazes around the snowflakes gently fluttering down from the sky. Renjun lets his gaze fall down on Jaemin's hand, gathering every bit of courage in his chest and allow everything to burst through his body as he slips his fingers through the empty spaces of Jaemin's hands.

Jaemin looks pleasantly surprised, his gaze keeps on flickering between Renjun’s subtle smile painted across his lips and their intertwined hands. Jaemin can't help but mirror the smile on Renjun's expression, eliciting a soft laugh as he lightly swings their hands.

Renjun finally allows his heart to explode and collapse into a million pieces upon hearing his sweet laughter.

-

"Here," Renjun thrusts a cup of steaming hot coffee in his Jeno's hands the moment they stepped inside the dorm. Jeno fumbles with it, almost spilling the entire amount of coffee onto the wooden floor before huffing once he manages to hold onto it as tightly as he could.

"This is too hot." Renjun throws him a stern glare but Jeno doesn't flinch at all — he only curls his lips into a sickeningly sweet smile before he lays the cup down on the nearby desk. Renjun plops down on the couch and Jaemin settles next to him, their fingers lightly intertwining. Every time Jaemin allows the pad of his thumb brush along Renjun's knuckles, Renjun can feel his breath hitch just slightly and his heart skip a beat.

"Where are the others?"

"We're here!" The other boys eagerly step inside Jeno and Renjun’s dorm. Donghyuck excitedly walks up to Renjun but he stops short, gaze immediately falling on Renjun and Jaemin's entwined fingers. The older boy gets flustered by the sudden attention, withdrawing his hand away and glancing at the other side to avoid the others' questioning looks directed at them. When he lets his gaze drift back to Jaemin, the boy is staring at him with an unreadable emotion passing through his eyes before he tilts his head to the side knowingly. Renjun easily finds his way to holding Jaemin's hand by stacking a bunch of pillow over their laps and hiding their intertwined fingers underneath them.

"Hey, whoever picks me for the Secret Santa, I want some cash because I'm broke." Jisung, a freshman and Chenle's best friend, settles on one of the spare chairs whilst Jeno rolls his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Didn't I give you a wallet before?"

"You did," Jisung points a finger accusingly at Jeno, who holds out his hands in defense. "But you didn't give me any money."

Jeno promptly gives up, dropping the topic just as Chenle settles next to Jisung on another spare chair while Mark and Donghyuck decide to just sit on the floor, right in front of Renjun and Jaemin.

"Okay, we're holding our Secret Santa for this year! I wrote your names on the pieces of paper already so I'll just pass this box around." Jeno holds out a tiny, circular box before passing it to Jaemin. "Also, you're not allowed to tell anyone else who you picked out!"

Jaemin struggles to hold the box with a single hand since he's holding onto Renjun's hand quite tightly. Renjun can't stop himself from bursting into a small fit of laughter, letting their fingers slip away from each other so Jaemin can take a piece of folded paper. The box gets passed to Renjun and he lets out a shaky breath before retrieving a piece of paper.

The box continues to get passed around until it goes back to Jeno, who promptly takes the last piece of paper in it.

Renjun gently unfolds the paper, smoothing out the creases on it before his gaze flickers from each letter until they've strung themselves together into a name that sends his heart collapsing.

_Jaemin._

He hurriedly slips his paper inside his pocket, his eyes flickering over to Jaemin to gouge out his reaction. Jaemin has a subtle smile on his lips as he reads the name on his piece, easily tucking the folded paper inside his own pocket too.

Good, at least he didn't see Renjun panicking in his seat.

"Okay, that's all! You guys can give tiny gifts or notes to the person you picked out from the Secret Santa but make sure to prepare a good gift for them at the event itself." Jeno claps his hands once, realizing that everyone else is stuck in their own seats. "Anyway, you guys can get out now."

"No way! You invited us here, treat us!" Chenle calls out and the others immediately agree. Jeno throws a pleading look at Renjun but the older boy only grins cheekily at him.

"Yeah, Jeno, treat us!" Jeno throws a glare at him, mouthing _asshole_ at him before he finally gives in, announcing that he'll be treating everyone for some pizza. Renjun lets out a delighted laugh but he's cut off when Jaemin snuggles close to him, peacefully laying on his head on the smaller boy's shoulder. Renjun tears his gaze away from his lap, letting his stare fall on Jaemin's blissful expression as their fingers naturally intertwine, as if it's out of habit already.

Renjun thinks he could get the hang of this.

-

_EXHIBIT 2.3: ICE._

"Who did you pick?" Donghyuck tries to move over to steal a glance at the paper in Renjun's fingers but the other boy is swift to slip it in between the pages of his book before shutting it close.

"Didn't Jeno say that we shouldn't tell who we picked out?"

"So?" A whine rips out of Donghyuck's throat, clinging to Renjun's arm before pressing his cheek against his shoulder with his bottom lip jutting out to resemble a pout. "Jeno doesn't have to know."

"He'll know one way or another. You know how he is, we'll be dead the moment he finds out." Donghyuck lets out a groan but he doesn't disagree — both of them know that Renjun is saying the truth. Jeno being mad is the last thing they'll want to do because it's a rather unpleasant sight, honestly.

"Do you have any idea what you'll get for the one you picked out?" Renjun's fingers still from constantly drumming them against the hardened cover of the book sitting on his desk. His head spins from the thoughts swirling uselessly around his mind, cluttering themselves into a mess.

Though he's been spending a lot of time with Jaemin, the other boy can still be a little secretive. He's so good at talking to people, pulling information out of them without giving anything about himself in the process and Renjun has experienced that first-hand.

A frown curls itself on his lips as he tries to backtrack through everything that Jaemin ever mentioned to him that he likes. All that he can remember are plush toys, coffee though he's been trying to cut down his caffeine intake and dogs. Well, plush toys seem a little cliché already and handing him coffee won't really help Jaemin out with his slight addiction to the beverage.

"Hey, Hyuck," Renjun mumbles, keeping his gaze steady on the cover before he directs his full attention to his best friend. "Do you think getting a dog for someone as a Christmas present is a good idea?"

"Injun, are you really hearing yourself right now?" Donghyuck deadpans, pulling away from Renjun but he keeps his arm hooked around the older boy's torso, as if he wants to keep him close. Renjun groans and buries his face on the cover of the book, the frustration running smoothly through his veins.

"Right, that's a bad idea."

"It's a good thing that you realized that, idiot."

"Hey!" Donghyuck is quick to dodge Renjun's playful punch thrown at him, sticking out his tongue and emitting a teasing laugh afterwards. Renjun pretends to twist his expression into a scowl before he gives up halfway, dropping his head on Donghyuck's shoulder.

"This is so hard."

"I know, I'm two seconds away from deciding to give the one I picked out money instead." Renjun ends up bursting into a fit of chuckles at his words, pulling away slightly but Donghyuck pulls him close once again, keeping a tight hold around his figure. Renjun fights the urge to pull away, indulging himself in the familiarity and warmth radiating off from the other boy.

"What's with you and Nana?"

"What do you mean?" Donghyuck glances down at him, an eyebrow arching with a worried frown gracing his lips.

"I know you guys are just faking this but... why does it look like it's not the same case for you?" Renjun doesn't say anything, choosing to drop his eyes on the desk instead of answering the question directly. He doesn't trust himself to say anything else as of the moment, fearing that he might say the wrong things.

"It's not like that—"

"You like him." Donghyuck lets the words slip past his lips and his tone sounds so similar to a statement rather than a question. Renjun only hangs his head low, ashamed because he got caught red-handed and he doesn't know how to deny it without looking like an idiot. Donghyuck only snuggles close and wraps him up in a comforting embrace, gently patting his back.

"If it helps, I think he likes you too."

"You're just trying to make me feel better." Renjun lets out a light laugh, his eyes crinkling slightly but Donghyuck only pursues his lips, shaking his head briefly before shrugging his shoulders.

"I saw the way he looks at you. I mean, I think he really does harbor some sort of feelings for you." Renjun's cheeks turn flushed at the other boy's words, burying his face on Donghyuck's shoulder again to hide the red tint that's spreading across his cheeks.

"You should confess to him one day." Renjun sinks his teeth down on his bottom lip, humming softly afterwards as he nods his head slowly.

"Maybe."

-

"Injunnie." Jaemin's voice switches into a singsong tone, his lips gently brushing against the curve of Renjun's cheek to lay a kiss on it. Renjun forces his heart not to explode within the confines of his chest and will down the blush that's climbing on his cheeks before turning his head to glance at the taller boy. He finds himself naturally forming a wide smile at the sight of him, leaning over to entwine their fingers in a loose grip.

"Are you still busy right now or do I have to steal you away from your homework?" Renjun steals a glance at the art history books laid out on the table before flashing a sheepish smile at the other boy's direction.

"Um, I still have things to do and—"

"Steal you away from your homework then!" Jaemin loudly declares, eagerly pulling on his hand to tug him out of his seat. Renjun takes one last look at his books before finally getting out of his chair with a laugh when Jaemin pulls on his hand with a whine, clearly impatient to spend some time with him. Somehow, that thought is enough to make his heart flutter crazily within his chest.

"Wait, I need to drop by my locker so I can grab some sketchbooks." Jaemin, instead of rejecting the suggestion as Renjun is expecting, only nods his head understandingly but he doesn't loosen his grip on the other boy's hand, entwining their fingers. Renjun lets him hold onto him, dragging him over to the direction of where his locker is situated at.

There's a little bounce in Jaemin's steps and it doesn't fail to take away Renjun’s attention as they walk closer to the lockers. Renjun enters his code, pulling the door open and his heart gets stuck at his throat when his line of sight falls on the paper taped at the top of his locker.

It's a little drawing of Moomin, his favorite cartoon character, and a tiny message inscribed at the side. He can't help but curve the edges of his mouth, taking the paper and letting his eyes flicker to each word to commit every stroke of the letter in his head.

_i hope you're having a beautiful day today! here's moomin to cheer you up if you're ever feeling sad. i do wish you never lose that wonderful smile of yours!_

"That's so sweet," Renjun softly mumbles to himself, letting his free hand graze along every letter and feeling the bumps written across the page. The words, even when they're not entirely poetic, sends his heart into a fluttering mess. He's so lost over the message that he almost forgets that Jaemin is standing beside him, peering over his shoulder to read the letter.

"Oh," Renjun quickly tucks the message inside his pocket, suddenly embarrassed as Jaemin stares back at him with a flash of amusement in his dark orbs. He elicits a chuckle, choosing to loop an arm around Renjun's lithe waist to keep him close to his side with a cheeky smile.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone what I saw."

"Are you sure?" Renjun jokingly jabs his finger at Jaemin's chest, making the other burst into a fit of loud laughter, nodding his head as he drags the older boy out of the doors.

"Yes, I'm sure."

-

There are soothing Christmas songs being played through the speakers in the cozy café that's kept near their dormitory. The snow is falling gently right outside of the window, decorating the sidewalk with beautifully carved snowflakes. Honestly speaking, this café feels so much like home to him already — he has spent too many days here, searching for his different kind of muses for his artworks in class.

Right now, there's only one muse that he has his eyes on as of the moment.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" Jaemin says as he sets down a tray filled with two cups of steaming hot chocolate on the table. Renjun perks up at the smell and the sight of the mugs, gratefully taking one of them and setting it down in front of him.

"I wasn't." Renjun lies through his teeth, even flashing a bright smile at his direction. Jaemin seems to catch on easily to his lie, his lips twitching into a teasing smile as he finally plops down right on the chair in front of Renjun.

"You were. Don't lie, Injun!" Renjun juts out his lower lip, immediately surrendering with a small huff as he promptly ignores the way the blush creeps over to his cheeks. He's ashamed over the way that it's so simple for Jaemin to take note of his little habits, almost as if they're really dating.

"Fine. I was." Renjun drops into a mumble and Jaemin brightens up, lips curved into a triumphant grin. He reaches over to gently pat the other boy's cheek in such an affectionate manner, sending a jolt of surprise through Renjun's body.

"Hey," Renjun leans in close, placing his elbows on the table before stealing a glance around to see if any of their friends are around. When the coast is clear, he switches his attention to Jaemin with a cheeky smile. "Who did you pick out in the Secret Santa?"

"Don't try bribing me in telling you who I picked or else, I'll tell Jeno."

"Mean." Renjun grumbles, backing away and crossing his arms over his chest. Jaemin only responds with a teasing smile, eyes crinkling as he takes a sip of the hot chocolate. Renjun watches him, hoping to pull out any information that will pose as something valuable so he can pick out his present for Jaemin.

"Nana, what do you like the most about Christmas? Name your top three choices!" Jaemin stops sipping his hot chocolate, eyes narrowing into a suspicious stare as he tilts his head with a small tug on the edge of his lips, almost forming a frown.

"Well, I like exchanging gifts, eating Christmas treats and," Jaemin stiffens, blinking rapidly as his gaze drops on his mug of hot chocolate. Renjun knits his brows, suddenly worried as he lets his fingers drag along the curve of the mug, eyeing the other boy with a concentrated look gracing his features.

"I never told anyone this before," Jaemin elicits an awkward laugh, directing his attention away from the older boy as he turns his gaze over to the frosted window, admiring the snowflakes beautifully laid on the ground. "But I used to do speed skating."

Renjun's brows arch in surprise and Jaemin manages to sneak a look at him, his lips almost twitching into a smile. He lets out an inaudible sigh before his attention lands back on Renjun.

"I loved being on the ice so much but I stopped because my body couldn't take it anymore." He tries to appear careless about the entire matter at hand but from the sadness lighting up in his dark orbs, it's obvious that he cares about it too much. Renjun stares at him with a scrutinizing gaze before he reaches out to lightly lace his fingers with Jaemin's, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

"Do you still want to go ice skating at least?" Jaemin hesitates once more, his teeth lightly biting down on his lower lip before nodding his head slowly in reply.

"I think I can handle ice skating," A smile curls his lips, the same kind of smile that makes Renjun's heart jump right out of his chest because of how breathtaking it is. "But I might look like an idiot since I haven't been on my skates for years already."

"I'm sure you'll do amazing." Renjun blinks, his eyes bright as the idea settles in his head and swirling continuously in it as the excitement slips through his veins. He pulls his hand away, letting his fingers curl around his mug to take a sip of his own hot chocolate.

He finally knows what kind of present he can get for Jaemin.

-

"What?" Chenle blurts out, looking fixedly at the older boy with a narrowed stare. Renjun clasps his hands together, paired with wide, sad eyes, just so he could at least get the younger male's sympathy.

"Please? It would mean the entire world to me if you—"

"Absolutely not." Chenle cuts in, shaking his head and eyeing him with a slight frown curving itself down on his lips. "My parents would kill me."

"But why? Aren't you their favorite kid?"

"I'm their _only_ kid so they don't really have a choice, do they?" Renjun heaves a deep sigh, dropping his body down on the couch. He doesn't really know how to convince Chenle to help him out in renting their entire ice skating venue for one night.

Renjun has always thought that Chenle's parents are more of the laid back, chill kind of people but he never really knew that they would be strict about their business. It's understandable that they would be against this kind of idea since the ice skating activity is quite popular, especially during the long stretch of the holiday season.

But Renjun knows that it would mean the world to Jaemin to get even a single day to skate around on his own, without anyone eyeing at him with judgmental stares.

"Come on, I really need to do this for someone." Renjun pleads again, pushing his luck further and crossing his fingers that Chenle would change his mind at the last minute. Chenle perks up at the sound of his words, his interest piqued.

"For who?" The uncertainty is written all over Renjun's features — his eyes flickering back and forth between Chenle and the ground whilst gnawing on his lower lip out of nervousness. His behavior is enough for the suspicion strike a nerve in Chenle as he arches a brow, gazing back at him silently before he heaves a deep sigh.

"Well, I guess it's someone important to you since you wouldn't try to do something this huge for anyone else," Chenle pauses, rubbing his cheek before leaning against his chair with his arms crossed over his chest. "It might take a while to convince my parents though."

"Thank you, Lele!" Renjun excitedly wraps his arms around the younger boy, eliciting a loud laugh as he pulls him in a tight embrace. Chenle is astonished by the unexpected affectionate gesture but he willingly accepts it, patting the older male's back gently before pulling away with an impish grin.

"You do know that you owe me something, right?"

"Set you up with a date with Jisung?" Chenle splutters, cheeks incredibly flushed as the heat rises up to them as Renjun curls the corners of his mouth into a devilish smirk. From the looks of it, he's clearly satisfied with the reaction he got.

"That's not what I meant!"

"Sure, whatever you say." Renjun turns his voice into a singsong tone, getting up from the couch and walking straight out of the dorm with a poorly concealed laugh. Chenle trails after him, whining as Renjun eagerly runs down the hallway with a laugh resounding everywhere.

"Hey, come back here! That's not what I meant!"

-

To say that Renjun feels a _little_ cocky is... well, maybe an understatement.

He knows that Jaemin would absolutely adore the gift he got for him and lately, he's been leaving little notes with beautiful drawings laid out on them. Just reminders for Jaemin to cheer up and keep a smile on his pretty smile, that he wants to see the other boy feel a tremendous amount of happiness bursting deep within his chest every single passing day.

It seems like his notes, coupled with his sugary treats, are enough to lighten up Jaemin's day. He never gets exhausted of seeing the stars shine in the younger boy's dark orbs every time he passes by his locker — it's such an endearing sight, after all.

Everything appears to be going perfectly.

 _Too_ perfectly.

"It's only a few more days," Mark echoes out his worry as he steals a glimpse at his phone to check the time. "I haven't got the person I picked out a present."

"Hyung, if you picked me," Jisung presses up against Mark's side, his eyes bright with mischief as a cheeky smile graces his mouth easily, "I'm fine with money. Maybe about—"

"No way." The edges of Mark's lips curve downwards into a frown, shaking his head abruptly. "Besides, I didn't pick you."

"Oh hyung, you're such a bad liar." Jisung emits a boisterous laugh whilst Mark only knits his eyebrows at him, staring at him in disbelief. Renjun catches up to them easily, hauling up a canvas with a cloth thrown over it to cover up the painting underneath it.

"Hey, guys. Do you have any extra money? I need it to buy some hot chocolate for—"

"Hyung, Lele said that he has something important to tell you." Jisung cuts in, a flash of worry burning in his dark orbs as he tilts his head to the side. Renjun pointedly ignores the uneasiness pooling in his stomach as he glances around, racking his head for ideas on where Chenle would be hanging out.

"He said he'll be at the library today." Mark helpfully supplies and Renjun shoots him a grateful look, nodding his head.

"Thanks, guys." He bolts off in the direction, which is the other side of the university. He doesn't know why in the world the library would be built right there — this is the reason why he doesn't have the energy to go over there to study or look for his new muse whenever he gets moments of trying to find an inspiration.

The canvas he brought along is slowing him down, due to him. attempting not to trip as he carries it all up the stairways directed to the library. Upon reaching the last step, his body is already starting to ache as he catches his breath for a moment, moving slowly to walk through the doors. A blast of cold air hits his face, relieved for the coolness wrapping him up as he trudges down the aisles in search for the familiar sight of blonde hair.

He heaves a sigh filled with ease upon setting his line of vision on Chenle, whose head is buried in multiple open books set out messily on the table. He's the only one occupying it so Renjun freely drags his canvas to the table, letting it clatter to the floor in a rather careless manner that he regrets it immediately before plopping down on the chair next to Chenle.

"Hey," He elbows Chenle at the side and the boy jumps in his seat in surprise, managing to bite back the yelp that almost slipped off from his tongue. Renjun rolls his eyes before leaning in close, lowering his voice though his tone is filled with a sense of urgency.

"Jisung said that you have something important to tell me." Chenle doesn't say anything for a stretch of silence, his teeth softly sinking down on his lower lip, as if contemplating his next words. He turns to Renjun, his eyes filled with an endless amount of guilt.

"My parents gave away your reservation." Chenle mumbles, his voice is soft yet Renjun hears his words loud and clear, due to the lack of noise in their corner of the library. He freezes up, his fingers gripping the edge of the table as he tries to let the words sink in his mind, allowing the statement to swirl around his head.

"What?"

"They said that they have really huge clients who need the venue badly so they couldn't reject their offer." Chenle looks beyond remorseful delivering the news, peering at the older boy to carefully gouge out his reaction with a frown playing on his lips. "They did say that they'll give you back your deposit and that they're really sorry."

The headache is residing heavily in his head, the thoughts colliding and falling apart as they swirl around furiously. Renjun takes a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down as he tries not to let the panic flood in his chest and release a bunch of emotions.

"It's fine." Renjun whispers, rubbing his palm on his forehead before he heaves a sigh, nodding his head slowly with a small smile flashed at the younger boy. "Thanks for trying though, Lele. It means a lot to me."

Chenle reaches over, his arms looping around Renjun's lithe and smaller frame. He gently pats his back in hopes of comforting him but still, the crestfallen is obvious on the other's features. Renjun quietly bids him goodbye, carrying the canvas right out of the corner and straight out of the library. The frustration of losing the best gift for Jaemin is running smoothly through his veins and he can't think of anything clearly.

He walks up to the dormitory, his steps resounding clearly against linoleum flooring because of how ridiculously silent it is today. It seems that everyone is out, studying for their finals and finishing up their last minute projects so they won't have any worries once winter break rolls in.

Just when he reaches his dorm, he's stopped short when he spots a rose taped to the front door, together with a note with scrawled handwriting on it. He carefully peels off the tape with his heart beating all too fast, gazing at the note with a smile slowly growing on the edges of his lips.

_you've been working so hard nowadays. i hope you'll be able to stop and smell the flowers, relax for even a little while. good luck with your work, jun! i'll always be here to cheer you on. :)_

The simple note is enough to make his heart flutter a little as the corners of his lips briefly tug on a smile. He gazes down at the canvas covered with a blanket before letting out a deep sigh, nodding his head with a steely determination circulating through his body.

He thinks that he finally found another gift for Jaemin.

-

_EXHIBIT 2.4: CANVAS._

Renjun, as much as he does not want to admit it, can feel the way Jaemin is starting to distance himself from him. They can't find a way to talk to each other due to them preparing for their finals and also because they have to prepare their gifts.

Renjun is trying to reach out though, often asking if he could meet up with Jaemin for a mug of hot chocolate and curl up on the couch whilst watching Christmas films. Or spend just a few minutes to talk, perhaps even receive a tight embrace from him.

Jaemin keeps turning him down with a regretful glance, always promising to take him out somewhere nice. Perhaps somewhere that Renjun will end up liking but right now, it's not the best time. Renjun only nods his head, schooling his expression to look as understanding as he can but even then, he can't deny that his heart breaks every time he receives a rejection.

He's feeling an awful much for someone who calls him a fake boyfriend.

"Hey," Jeno notices the sullen look crossing Renjun's features, carefully plopping down beside him on the bed before wrapping his arms around his figure. Renjun lets out an exhale, allowing himself to indulge in the warmth radiating off from the other boy. Jeno doesn't say anything, only tightening his embrace without another word because right now, it seems that Renjun needs it a lot.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Renjun turns his head slightly, eyeing him with a slight, confused frown curving on his lips.

"What do you mean? Talk about what?" Jeno only throws him an incredulous look, an eyebrow rising as he tilts his head to the side. He glances knowingly at the way Renjun is snuggling closer to him, as if he's desperate to feel any sort of comfort right now. Renjun's teeth sink down on his bottom lip, cheeks flushed as he lowers his head to hide them.

"How come it's so easy for you to realize how I'm feeling?" A laugh rings through the air and it sounds awfully similar to Jeno's melodious fits of chuckles often echoing in the dorm.

"We live together, dumb." Jeno pauses and he gently runs a hand down the other's back, the pads of his fingers pressing down on it with a worried frown. "What's wrong though?"

"Everything. My gift for Secret Santa got ruined so I'm not sure if my gift now will be enough and," Renjun's voice falters, eyes dropping to his empty lap as he elicits a deep sigh, "I feel stupid because I developed feelings for someone when it's obvious that I shouldn't feel like that at all."

"Are you talking about Nana?" Renjun splutters, clearly stunned by the revelation as he fumbles over his words with his cheeks turning redder than ever. Jeno allows a fleeting flash of amusement pass through his dark orbs before he bursts into a loud, boisterous fit of laughter. The sound easily bounces off the walls, echoing in the rather silent room, apart from Renjun trying to form an impromptu explanation.

"That's not what I was talking about! I—"

"Oh please, Injun, everyone knows that you like him." Jeno sniffles, wrinkling his nose as he glances down at Renjun to give him a pitying look. "Except for Nana though."

That's enough for Renjun to feel his shoulders slump in disappointment, his eyes filled with nothing but pure sadness. Jeno emits another sigh, pulling Renjun against his chest so the older boy can lay his head against it comfortably. Paired with Jeno's steady rhythm of running his fingers through his strands and the gentle swaying of their bodies, Renjun slowly finds himself relaxing.

After a moment of stretched silence between them, Renjun pulling away with a sheepish smile directed at him. Jeno, for once, doesn't tease him or throw a casual insult but instead, he only leans his head to the side with a concerned expression painted on his features.

"Don't be sad now." Jeno tries to cheer him up, keeping his voice light and easy as he finally allows a smile to grace his mouth.

"If you ask me, I don't think you're being idiotic for letting your feelings catch up to you like this. It's nearly impossible not to fall in love when he treats you like someone special to him and for goodness' sake, we're talking about Nana here!" Jeno gestures wildly using his hands, nodding his head quickly. "Anyone can easily fall for him and I don't blame you if you do the expected thing. You don't have to treat falling in love as a crime — it's one of the few things that we can freely allow ourselves to feel without rationalizing everything we do."

Renjun gapes at his roommate, his words slowly sinking in as he tries to carefully separate each letter and word, letting himself indulge in the knowledge. Jeno is right — he should stop acting like falling in love is the worst feeling in the world. On the contrary, he's honoured that he's granted with the opportunity to get to know Jaemin and fall in love with every little thing about him. It's already a blessing itself that he got to know Jaemin and it doesn't matter if the other boy doesn't feel the same way. It won't be the end of the world, even if he's sure that it'll feel like that because of how much he likes Jaemin.

"I didn't know that you could be so smart, Jeno." Renjun teases, eyes sparkling with mischievousness. Jeno rolls his eyes at him, the edges of his lips already twitching to curl themselves into a smile.

"Of course, I am. I'm a law student, anyway."

"You're still an idiot though."

"Shut up, Injun."

-

Lately, it's getting much harder to stay close to Jaemin since their schedules just keep on colliding and falling apart. They couldn't find a way to meet outside of their schedules and now, they would consider themselves lucky if they even get to see each other along the hallway.

If Renjun is still treating this as a fake relationship then he would have shrugged this off. But he doesn't really remember when he started to deal with this situation — it feels like the lines between having their relationship for show and actually falling in love have blurred themselves into a chaotic mess.

Renjun feels like a complete idiot, honestly.

"Today is the day!" Donghyuck nearly tackles Renjun in the middle of the hallway, almost crushing the canvas that Renjun is dragging right behind him. The older boy yelps, clutching the canvas against his chest in a protective manner before he attempts to throw a glare at the younger boy. Donghyuck only beams brightly and tightens his arms around Renjun, helping him steady himself before enthusiastically pulling him in the direction of the café.

Their classes are cut short since it's their last day before winter break comes rolling in. Renjun has been confident that he did all right in his finals but still, that wasn't enough for him to be completely relaxed — he's awfully nervous on how Jaemin will react to his gift. Though Jaemin seems to be the person who'll appreciate anything that will be given to him, he still wants to be able to take his breath away once he sets his eyes on his present.

"Are you going to let me know who you picked out in the Secret Santa?" Renjun snorts, shaking his head swiftly with a chortle leaving past his lips. He unknowingly holds the painting close to his chest, making sure that the cloth is covering it well.

"We're just a few steps away from the café. I think you can wait until we get to meet up with the rest of the gang." Renjun finally bursts into a fit of resounding laughter, bolting straight through the doors. Since the café is surprisingly empty, it's quite easy to see who are the only people there — his eyes are quick to spot his group of friends. His gaze falls on Jaemin and his breath hitches at the sight of him — he's so breathtakingly gorgeous with his turtleneck sweater and a laugh falling from his lips as Jeno playfully elbows him at the side.

He takes a few hesitant steps towards him whilst Donghyuck eagerly pushes the doors open, catching up to the table in record's time. Jisung is swift enough to notice Renjun's oddly quiet presence and he raises a hand, gesturing the older boy to come close.

"Hyung!" Renjun pauses, aware of the way the other boys take notice of his presence. Jeno tilts his head at him, silently encouraging him to take the empty seat in front of Jaemin with a subtle smile on his lips. Renjun shoots him a grateful smile, choosing to take that exact seat and putting his canvas at the side for now.

"Are you guys ready?" Jeno drums his hands on his table in a steady rhythm, grinning as he clasps his hands together.  "Welcome to our Secret Santa! I'll go first since I'm the host."

"That better be good." Donghyuck teasingly says and Jeno shoots him a stern glare before he ends up bursting into a fit of chuckles upon seeing the frightened look crossing the other boy's features. Jeno brings out a thick wad of money and pushes it in the direction of Jisung, who instantaneously brightens up at the sight of it.

"Holy shit, how much is that?" Mark leans over, trying to check the amount but Jisung hurriedly slips it in his pocket with a cheeky grin, shaking his head.

"No way, hyung." Jisung turns to Jeno with his bright eyes shining with obvious happiness because of the gift he received. "Thanks, by the way. I was only kidding about the money but I didn't know that you'll take it seriously."

"That's two weeks' worth of tips at the flower shop I'm working in. Turns out, boys and girls love me and my cousin wants to hire me now as a permanent staff member." Jeno tugs on his jacket, looking incredibly smug whilst Renjun rolls his eyes at him, jerking his foot and hitting Jeno's leg underneath the table. The latter jumps in shock, yelping and losing every bit of the cool image he was attempting to put on a while ago. Jeno scowls for a moment before his bad mood dissipates quickly in a snap, his dark orbs are filled with mischievousness.

"I got another gift for you."

"Oh, is it another wad of cash?"

"No, but I think you'll like it a lot." Jeno switches his voice into a singsong tone, exchanging glances with Chenle, who beams brightly at Jisung's direction. "I set you up with a date with Lele. Don't worry, I'll pay for it."

"What?" Jisung's voice comes out as a squeak, cheeks flushed as his gaze flickers over to Chenle, who has the same rosy cheeks with a shy smile tugging on his mouth. Jisung clears his throat and throws a devilish grin at Chenle, nodding his head.

"Since Jeno hyung is paying for it, let's use up all his money."

"No, no way!" Jeno injects himself in the conversation, shaking his head rapidly but Chenle cuts him off, eyes shining with amusement.

"I like that idea."

"Oh god, what did I get myself into? Both of you are little devils." Jeno sulks while another round of laughter goes around in the table, the other boys delighted over the reaction they got out of Jeno.

The gift giving continues around — Jisung shyly hands over three pairs of socks with adorable drawings of eggs on them, claiming that Chenle likes cooking eggs so much these days and he got reminded of the older boy when he passed by it in the mall. Chenle practically squeals in his seat, getting up from his chair and tackling the younger boy to the ground with a tight embrace.

"Shit, Lele, you guys are gonna fall off!" Renjun yells out, holding onto Jisung's chair so the two wouldn't stumble to the floor. Chenle flashes him an apologetic smile but he keeps his hold around Jisung, eyes sparkling with happiness.

Chenle hands over a huge watermelon to Mark, almost knocking the fruit off the table and possibly hitting the older boy on the feet. He even gives a bunch of watermelon shaped keychains to the other boy and Mark practically lights up at the sight of them, thanking him.

Mark, for sure, gets tackled to the floor when he hands Donghyuck a pair of tickets to the amusement park. Donghyuck throws his arms around Mark's neck, pulling him in a tight hug but due to their weight added together, Mark accidentally tips his chair back and they fell to the floor with a thud.

"Oh my god." Jeno can barely conceal the laughter that's threatening to escape his mouth as the others crowd around the two boys, helping them up. Donghyuck doesn't seem dazed about the little accident, keeping his arms around Mark whilst the older boy literally goes breathless at the way Donghyuck is clinging to him.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! This makes me so happy!" Donghyuck buries his face on the crook of Mark's neck and the sight of them being sweet makes Renjun melt a little. He wants that kind of reaction when he hands Jaemin his gift but a huge part of him fears that he'll be disappointed if he lets himself believe that.

Donghyuck and Mark finally part but both of them are sporting the brightest smiles ever, their cheeks rosy with the embarrassment over the scene that they could have possibly caused. As Donghyuck takes his seat, he brings out his bag, digging through it until he takes out a set of cat toys and treats.

It doesn't take a second thought to know that the gifts are for Jeno. The older boy brightens up at the sight of them, hurriedly hugging them against his chest as a string of thank yous fall from his lips endlessly.

"You do realize that he just gave you a bunch of presents that are for your cats?" Chenle speaks up and Donghyuck snickers, hiding the smile behind his hand.

"He knows that I like his cats better." Jeno ignores the playful jabs at him, slipping the treats and toys in his own backpack. Their gazes fly over to Renjun and Jaemin, staring at them with poorly concealed excitement.

"I'll go first." Jaemin's voice comes out smooth and velvety with a sweet smile curling on his lips. Though he appears to be confident, Renjun can see the way his fingers shake in nervousness as he zips his backpack open, carefully bringing out a new sketchbook and multiple sets of coloring materials — from colored pencil to paint, he has everything. Everything that Renjun has been dying to buy but he lacks the money so he could never indulge himself properly.

Renjun's heart skips a beat as Jaemin meets his eyes, the edges of his mouth tentatively pulling upwards to form a smile. Renjun can't stop himself — he stands up from his chair and goes around the table, throwing himself in Jaemin's arms. The younger boy is stunned but it's obvious from the way he brightens up that he's clearly pleased with the affectionate embrace.

Jaemin stands up but he pulls Renjun as close as he can, arms tightly looped around his lithe figure. They fit so perfectly like this — Renjun with his head placed on Jaemin's shoulder while the taller boy presses a fleeting kiss on his forehead.

There's a chorus of _'aww's_ echoing around their table and Renjun can feel his skin turn flushed, embarrassed. Jaemin only emits a laugh but when Renjun breaks away from the embrace, he can see the slight pink tint coloring itself along the curve of the boy's cheeks. The thought of Jaemin blushing because of him sends his heart into a chaotic yet delighted mess, melting deep within the confines of his chest. Suddenly, this entire time of them not getting to see each other properly and talking is worth it because Jaemin is always worth the wait.

"What's your gift for your lover boy, Injun?" Jeno's tone is dripping with playfulness and Renjun ducks his head, his heart pounding against his chest. The nervousness and anxiety are running through his veins but he forces himself to stay calm, taking in a deep breath as he grabs the canvas leaning peacefully against the side of his chair.

He lets his gaze lock with Jaemin's but he can't decipher the expression written all over his features. The worry is pooling in his stomach but he ignores everything, focusing all his attention on Jaemin. He holds out his arms, clutching the canvas as he hands the cloth covered canvas to Jaemin.

Jaemin slowly takes it out of his grasp, taking off the cloth with absolute care so he won't accidentally ruin it. When the painting gets unraveled before his eyes, Jaemin elicits a gasp, his face is clearly stricken with wonder and amazement.

The painting is a memory — Jaemin and Renjun were studying together at that time in the library. It was oddly quiet but Renjun was so sure that his heartbeat was echoing so loudly to the point that the entirety of the library.

Jaemin was smiling right at him when Renjun froze that memory in his head, painting every detail on that canvas. His eyes were crinkled in the way that makes Renjun's heart skip a beat every time. The corners of his lips are pulled up to show off his breathtakingly beautiful smile that everyone seems to adore so much. The window behind him was flashing streaks of sunlight, highlighting Jaemin's brown hair in such a way that makes him appear so angelic.

Renjun just couldn't forget the way Jaemin gazed at him that day — his eyes bright and he looked like he wouldn't want to be anywhere else but here, right beside him. It was so hard not to fall deeply in love with him, right there and then.

"Wow," Jeno and Donghyuck have crowded themselves right behind Jaemin, eyes wide as they admire the lines and curves, the way the colors collided so nicely with one another. Mark, Jisung and Chenle are trying their best to even steal a glance of the magnificent painting.

"Yeah, wow. What the hell, Injun? When did you get to paint this? I never saw you paint in our dorm!" Jeno voices out and all attention is directed back to Renjun. The boy blushes hard, dropping his voice into a whisper.

"I often painted in the benches right outside of our dorm."

"Right out in the freezing cold?" Renjun hesitates to answer Mark's question but a little later, he finally nods his head. Jaemin carefully puts the painting down and covers it up with the cloth, mindful not to damage the artwork. After that, he's quick to take wide strides at Renjun, scooping him up in his arms and pulling him once again his arms. He even swings Renjun around and the older boy squeals, wrapping his arms around Jaemin's neck so he wouldn't slip off by accident.

"That was such a beautiful gift. Thank you." Jaemin puts him down gently, letting Renjun steady himself on his own two feet before he cups his cheeks in his hands, landing a soft kiss on his forehead. He knows that this kind of kiss isn't for show — all their friends know that they're not dating for real. But he does know that with the way Jaemin gave him the kiss and the way his starry eyes settle on Renjun’s face, it's real.

Everything feels awfully real right now.

"Can't believe that Injun easily beat us in this gift giving — he gave the best present to Nana." Donghyuck dramatically says out loud. Jaemin lets go of Renjun, the two of them sharing a laugh as Renjun rests his head on the taller boy's shoulder. Jaemin's arm slithers around Renjun's small waist, pulling him close to his side.

"That was really fun. We should do this again next year!" Jisung calls out and Jeno bursts into a fit of laughter.

"You just want to get some more money."

"You're not wrong." Jisung flashes a cheeky smile and the other boys share another laugh. They start to get up from their chairs, slipping on their bags and carrying their received gifts in their arms. Jaemin keeps the canvas tucked under his other arm while he keeps a tight hold around Renjun, walking right beside him as they head over to the exit.

"Hey, after you guys are done packing up, we can head over to our house for a party!" Chenle perks up and all of them simultaneously agree to the idea. Jeno turns around, curling his lips into a wide smile directed at Renjun.

"Hey, Jun. I already finished packing up a while ago — you have the dorm for yourself." He gives him a meaningful glance before turning on his heel, pulling Mark and Donghyuck along with him, whining that he wants to check out a vinyl store sitting next to the café. Chenle and Jisung bids them goodbye, already heading back to their own dorm by racing each other with a resounding laugh echoing in the winter air.

It's silent between them until Jaemin gives Renjun’s waist a gentle squeeze, smiling down at him.

"Want me to help you in packing up?" Renjun drops his gaze on the snow covered sidewalk, letting out a deep exhale before he meets Jaemin's eyes with a sweet smile.

"Okay."

-

Renjun and Jaemin lay on Renjun's bed, their legs propped up against the wall. There's a stretch of comfortable silence between them, their heartbeats falling in sync as they stare up at the dull ceiling.

"Winter break is tomorrow." Jaemin breaks the silence but even, his voice is soft, gentle like always. Renjun only hums in reply, turning his head slightly so he can properly look at the other boy. He admires Jaemin's side profile — the curve of his nose, his smooth cheek, his sharp jawline. One of the corners of his lips are turned up, showing off a half smile as he continues to gaze up at the ceiling.

"What happens to us now?" Jaemin turns his head, meeting Renjun’s gaze with a worried frown now gracing his mouth. Renjun doesn't speak — he knows what the answer is supposed to be.

Their relationship is only for show for the other students. But since it's winter break, they both doubt that they'll see any of them while on break so there's no reason for them to stay together. The most acceptable solution for this problem is for them to break up.

But Renjun doesn't want that.

"I don't know." It's the truth — he doesn't know. His feelings are in a chaotic and tangled mess but he does know one thing. He likes Jaemin and he wants to stay with him.

Jaemin stares at him long and hard, as if carefully analyzing every emotion that passes through his dark orbs and every action that he subconsciously ends up doing. Renjun parts his lips, ready to let the words fall off his tongue when Jaemin cuts him off, making him shut his mouth once again.

"Do you like me, Renjun?" It's unfamiliar to hear his own name fall from Jaemin's lips. He's so used to the other boy affectionately calling him Injun or even just Jun. Right now, his expression is completely indescribable and Renjun can feel the worry circulating through his body, starting from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He's so afraid to say the truth but if he denies this, it would just prolong the suffering of not knowing if Jaemin likes him back or if he would just gently reject him.

He keeps quiet, lips pursued into a thin line as he stares back at the ceiling, ignoring the questioning gaze aimed right at him. He takes a deep breath, eliciting a shaky sigh as his eyes flutter shut.

"Yes."

The silence is stretched for too long, heartbeat after heartbeat echoing deep within the confined corners of his chest. He's too focused on not losing his nerves that he didn't even realize that his legs have slid down the wall, landing on the mattress with a quiet thud. Soon after, his legs get tangled with Jaemin's and his body turns on his side, facing the taller boy again.

"Injun, open your eyes."

"No."

"Please?" Maybe it's the pleading tone that Jaemin's adapted for his voice or maybe it's his imagination morphing into Jaemin's face — his starry eyes looking awfully sad and a frown already starting to curl on his lips that Renjun manages to brave himself to open his eyes. Jaemin gazes at him, a softened smile playing on his mouth and his bright eyes etched with nothing but an infinity's worth of happiness.

"What—"

"I like you too, Injun." Jaemin murmurs, one of his hands cupping Renjun's cheek in the utmost delicate manner, as if he's afraid that if he isn't careful, the smaller boy would collapse into dust. His eyes lock with Renjun’s and god, it may be an understatement to say that Jaemin's deep brown eyes are absolutely breathtaking. His dark orbs are overflowing with so much constellations and universes, burning and glistening. It's as if the world has emptied out all the stars in the night sky and gently crafted them to form Jaemin's twinkling eyes.

"You... do?" Jaemin emits a low laugh and Renjun can feel the happiness already starting to flood through his veins, climbing up from the tips of his toes to the very top of his head.

"I do." He leans in close and Renjun holds his breath, eyes falling to let his gaze fixate itself on Jaemin's pink, luscious lips. "I really do."

They stay like that — the longing is hanging heavily between them. Both of them are in awe and they're afraid to ruin whatever that is happening in their relationship. That is, until Jaemin speaks once more, his voice clear and dripping with honey.

"Can I kiss you?"

Renjun can't hold himself back from smiling so widely, his heart ramming itself against his chest due to the fast pace of his heartbeats. His arms slowly round themselves around Jaemin's torso to pull him in a comfortable embrace.

"Yes please." Jaemin doesn't say anything — a smile only lingers on his mouth as his eyes gently flutter close, kissing his cheek very lightly. Every moment, every second of them feels like time is stretching itself for so long but Renjun basks himself in the feeling. The yearning to feel Jaemin's lips against his grows strong, just as he allows his eyes fall shut and allowing his sight to grow accustomed to the darkness. He feels the rising urge to open them, just to memorize every feature on Jaemin's face but he's stopped short when his breath gets stolen away.

At the next moment, everything clicks into place.

Jaemin captures his lips in a gentle, sensual kiss. Everything grows hazy, as if he's in dreamlike state but at the same time, he's aware of every brush, every movement of their lips together. Jaemin tastes incredibly sweet, like all the sugary treats that he's in love with. Like the sweetness of a delicacy that Renjun would love to get addicted to.

Jaemin starts off slow, light — he presses soft kisses every now and then before pulling him back in for another long kiss. Every brush of their lips grow more desperate, as if they're both overcome with the desire to feel more. Renjun lets his teeth graze along Jaemin's bottom lip, playfully tugging on it before letting it go right after. Jaemin rests a hand down his back whilst his hand continues to cup Renjun's cheek. The pad of his thumb brushes against the curve of Renjun's cheek, as if he's trying to memorize the details of the older boy's features. The thought of that alone is enough for Renjun to feel the light fluttering of his heart beating beneath his rib cage.

Jaemin pulls away and that's when Renjun allows himself to let his eyes flutter open. Jaemin's cheeks are absolutely flushed and the sight of them is so endearing, really lovely. He feels the impulse to pull Jaemin back and kiss him senseless, get drunk on the feeling of their lips pressed against each other.

Jaemin leans in close to steal another kiss from his lips before he breathes out a lighthearted laugh. Renjun ends up doing the same; their laughter resounding in the rather silent dorm.

When the laughter dies down, Renjun is left with staring back at the other boy with a lingering smile on his lips. Jaemin pulls him closer until Renjun's head is laying against his shoulder with their arms thrown around each other. The stillness of everything is comforting and Renjun wouldn't want to be anywhere else but here.

"How long have you known that you actually liked me?" Jaemin whispers, his hand sifting through Renjun's brown strands and letting them tangle around his fingers. Renjun hums, willing his cheeks not to heat up as the memory washes over him again.

"When we were studying one time. You were sitting right beside me in the library and I think I made some lame joke. You turned to me and laughed. I just knew at that moment my heart wanted you."

"You liked me because I laughed at your joke?"

"Get you a man who laughs at all of your jokes, right?" Jaemin bursts into a fit of chuckles, pressing a light peck on his lips and leaning their foreheads together.

"You know," Renjun rests a hand down Jaemin's chest, running his fingers down on it with a sweet smile on his lips. "I feel like I ended up making you look like you're madly in love in that painting I made."

"Because I am," Jaemin murmurs, their fingers intertwining for a moment. "With you."

Renjun could never fight back that smile from forming on his lips.

-

_EXHIBIT 2.5: SKATES: AN EPILOGUE._

"Hey," Jaemin loops his arms around Renjun's shoulders, a smile lingering on his lips. Renjun turns his head a bit, pressing a soft kiss on his cheek before going back to add a splash of color on his drawing. His brush leaves a trail of blue on the paper, careful not to go beyond the lines traced out.

"Not even a single hi?" Jaemin jokingly says and Renjun is quick to drop his paintbrush, getting up from his chair and properly pull the other boy in a tight embrace. His arms wrap themselves around his figure, stealing a kiss from his lips.

"Merry Christmas." The taller boy drops his gaze on the papers strewn across the wooden desk and a frown creases on his features, brows knitting together in confusion. "Are you doing a project during winter break?"

"Well." Renjun only casts him a look full of guilt before pressing his face hurriedly on his shoulder. Jaemin runs a hand down his back before pulling away, cupping his cheeks in the delicate manner that he always does.

"It's Christmas! We should do something together." Renjun pauses for a moment, lightly tugging on the hem of Jaemin's sweater with a small sheepish smile playing on the edges of his mouth.

"You know, my painting wasn't really my first gift for you." Jaemin arches a brow, a look of confusion passing through his face before he frowns deeply. Renjun lets out a deep exhale and lays the side of his head against Jaemin's chest, reveling in the warmth radiating off from the boy.

"I rented an ice skating venue for you so we could go ice skating." Jaemin stills, his hands dropping from Renjun’s cheeks before he steps away with his eyes wide in disbelief. For a moment, Renjun feels like he made a mistake of bringing it up — what if Jaemin doesn't actually want to go ice skating? What if Jaemin doesn't want to bring it up and yet, Renjun reminded him again. Renjun gazes at him with a regretful glance, ready to take it all back when Jaemin grabs hold of his shoulders, stopping him in place. He's smiling so widely, eyes crinkling in the same way that can make his heart skip a beat.

"Injun, that's so sweet. That would have been such a wonderful gift." A glimpse of sadness crosses his face and his shoulders slump down to display his disappointment. "What happened though?"

Renjun's teeth bite down on his own lower lip, picking out the words that are supposed to fall from his mouth. He rests his arms back on Jaemin's waist, keeping him close with a sigh.

"Lele's parents booked them for some huge clients even if I—"

A ping! resounds in the room, cutting off Renjun’s words. He pulls away tentatively, hurrying to grab his phone right off his bed and opening it up. He scrolls through his message and his breath gets caught in his throat when he sets his eyes on the most recent message, just a minute ago.

 **Chenle [15:28]:** _merry christmas!!!_  
**Chenle [15:29]:** _btw my parents feel really bad for not securing the venue for you last time so as a gift for you, you can have the ice skating rink for the rest of the afternoon for free!_

"Holy shit, is he serious?" Renjun blurts out, letting his gaze flicker from word to word and allowing the sentence to sink in. He can't believe this would actually happen — he already stopped thinking about that when he was able to snatch Jaemin's heart and keep in his hands. He never thought that he would still be able to snatch the venue up too.

"What happened?" Jaemin peers over Renjun's shoulder and even when Renjun doesn't turn on his heel, he knows that his boyfriend is sporting on a look of astonishment at the unexpected news. Another message comes running through a minute later, lighting up the phone with the newest notification.

 **Chenle [15:31]:** _are you going to come today?_

"Let's go?" Renjun finally faces Jaemin with a wide, excited smile but when he sees the obvious indecisiveness appearing on the other boy's features. He gently grabs his hand, their fingers naturally intertwining, as if they do it out of habit already.

"I don't know. It's just been so long—"

"Nana, I know that you've been looking forward to this for a long time already." He raises their entwined hands, leaving a kiss on the back of his hand affectionately. "I'll be here for you."

Jaemin takes a moment, eyes flickering from Renjun to the phone he's holding before he breaks out into a wide grin.

"Okay, let's go."

 **Renjun [15:35]:** _we're going._

-

"You know," Jaemin spins on his skates gracefully, not missing a beat as he skates right over next to Renjun to wrap a secured arm around his waist to steady him, "I really thought that I'll be the one struggling since it's been a long time since I've went ice skating. It never entered my mind that this would happen."

"Oh, shut up. This is my first time!" Renjun huffs, wrinkling his nose as he steadies himself on his skates, taking baby steps as he tries to skillfully glide on his skates but as soon as Jaemin attempts to pull away, he almost slips on the ice. Jaemin can barely conceal the chortle threatening to escapes his mouth as he tightly wounds his arms around Renjun's body, guiding him along the ice.

"Don't worry, I won't let go."

"Nana, I've been elbowing you in the face for the last ten minutes. I feel bad already." Jaemin's hand subconsciously raises to cup his own cheek and the frown starts to hang on the edges of Renjun’s lips, feeling awfully guilty because he feels like he's taking up the other's time. Jaemin should be skating around freely, like he always wanted. But instead, he's stuck with trying to teach his boyfriend how to stay on his skates without slipping as soon as he takes a tiny step.

"I feel bad. I'll just hold onto the railing!" Renjun shoos him away, his hand already reaching out to clutch the railings at the side. "I'll be fine. Go and skate already!"

Jaemin does let go but he has a saddened look on his face, eyeing the older boy for a stretch of moment. Renjun glances at him questioningly, not knowing why Jaemin hasn't moved an inch ever since he told him to just glide around on the ice.

"What's wrong?" Jaemin hesitates before rubbing the nape of his neck, heaving a sigh.

"It's not fun without you." His bottom lip juts out to resemble a pout and despite Renjun not trying to let his lips twitch into a smile, his heart is already melting beneath his rib cage. Jaemin is just so awfully adorable and he would do anything to make him happy — even if he has to slip on the ice multiple times.

"Okay," He quietly gestures for the other boy to come closer to him whilst slowly loosening his grip on the railing. Jaemin eagerly skates up to him and holds out his hand, his starry eyes expectant. Renjun remembers the same look since they started dating — the way Jaemin gazes at him with a hand out, silently expecting that Renjun would take his hand without a single stretch of heartbeat.

He's always right.

Renjun reaches out, their fingers entwining into a tight grip and Jaemin raises their hands to press a kiss on the back of Renjun's hand. Renjun can't avoid the way his cheeks go flushed at the affectionate gesture, his lips already curled into a sweet smile.

"Don't let go of my hand, all right?" Jaemin pulls him close, his hand tightly gripping the smaller boy's fingers. Renjun lightly squeezes his hand, his eyes bright as he meets Jaemin's soulful gaze directed at him.

"I won't."

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! feel free to talk to me in [twitter.](http://twitter.com/jenosaints)


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